Patrick's Softball Speaks Out On . . .

Playing Ball
Drinking Beer
Life

This page has been created to immortalize prophetic phrases that have been uttered or submitted by members of this softball team. Please email the webmaster with suggestions of quotes that you feel should be preserved for posterity.

On Playing Ball . . .

"You know, if the wind had been blowing a little harder, that one might have gone out."
-Darin Pesta

"So Mike, would you say that was Sosa like or McGuire like?"
-Darin Pesta, reflecting upon having finally hit his first career homerun at the tender age of 28.

MIKE: "Gary, how do you explain the fact that you have a batting average over .800?"
GARY: "Well, I think I'm finally at my ideal playing weight"

ROCKET: "Gosh, I hit that one a long ways!"
GARY: "Ya Rob, that was the prettiest God Damn fly ball for an out that I've ever seen."

“We're just going to get our ass kicked today!”
-Tim Sullivan, Sunday morning of the Glencoe Tournament

“That's the longest home run I've ever had hit off me! . . . . . (several innings later) I stand corrected.”
-Tim Sullivan, Sunday afternoon of the Glencoe Tournament

“I hate to lose more than I love to win. I hate to see the happiness on their faces when they beat me.”
-Jimmy Connors, submitted by Gary Schmiesing

“John, all we do is bring home the hardware!”
-Mike Tollefson, after clinching our second League Title

On Drinking Beer. . .

"Why is it that beer tastes so good on Wednesday night?"
-Beth Schmoll, #1 fan

"I can taste my first ten beers already . . . "
-Michael Busch, anticipating the 2007 Patrick's Party

Sometimes when I reflect on all the beer I drink, I feel ashamed.  Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams.  If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered.  I think, "It is better to drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."
-Babe Ruth, submitted by Kevin Tollefson

"Mommy, that party you're going to . . . is that a beer party?"
-Allison Schmoll, age 6, inquiring about the 2007 Patrick's Party

“I, Timothy J. Sullivan, hereby declare myself ‘Last Man Standing’ at the 1998 Patrick's Softball after-bar party. Hail to those whom can handle their liquor.”
-Tim Sullivan, March 15, 1998, 5:05am

An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.
-Ernest Hemingway, submitted by Kevin Tollefson

"One of these years, that party is going to kill me!"
-Loren Horsager on the Fundraiser Party

“Beer is proof God loves us and wants us to be happy”
- Ben Franklin, submitted by Darin Pesta

On Life . . .

TEAM: "Queen, where are you going?"
QUEEN: "There aren't any cute single boys here so I'm headed over to Willy's."
GARY: (incredulously, throwing up his hands)  "What the hell am I?"
QUEEN:  "I make boys like you cry."

DARIN PESTA: (In response to Michael Busch announcing his engagement) "Today's weather report for Hell - Cover your tomatoes tonight due to a freeze warning . . . "

"Some people claim that there's a woman to blame."
-Jimmy Buffet, professed by the team every Wednesday night for a decade